We’ve all been there, and realized that a person or situation is not completely valuing us in the same regard that we value ourselves.  In these dilemmas, we often understand that we are being devalued, used, or disrespected and we decide to work to change the situation for the better.  Respect is a not only a word, but is also a value that we look to gain from everyone.  Respect is defined as a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.  In short, when you say that you like something you are showing your respect for whatever it is that you admire.

We are often taught to be respectful and show our gratitude to others for things they do for us, and we expect the same gratitude in return.  This happens often throughout our day when we say phrases like “much appreciated”, or “thank you” we are showing our admiration for something, which is the core of what it is to show respect.  One characteristic of true respect is that it is reciprocated, and the level of respect that you would like to see from others you will need to exhibit from yourself.  Just like many things in life, respect gives you in return only what you are willing to give.

While in a recent consultation I was asked by a client,  “how can I increase the level of respect that I get from my peers at work and in my social life?”  My answer was simple, “in order to get respect, you must begin to respect yourself first.”  I was then asked to explain this further, and I created the following acronym to assist in explaining what is needed to increase your personal level of respect.  Please consider the below, and use this model to help increase your level of respect for yourself.

Responsibility – This is your thoughts, beliefs, and actions at work and it is important to be responsible for yourself.  It is YOU, and it always will be.  The reality that you see and experience is a result of your doing, and you have to take responsibility for you first.  This is not said with selfish ambition, but from the perspective that in order to be able to help someone, you have to be in a secure position for yourself.

Effort – You have to put forth maximum effort as you represent yourself.  If you slack on your word as you conduct your affairs, you will in turn receive the same lack of effort from others.  Keep working and give it your best as you strive for better.  The person you never want to cheat is yourself, so even if it hurts a little do your best.

Sacrifice – What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?  You must be willing to cut ties with the thoughts, beliefs, and actions that don’t assist you in producing the desired results.  Once you cut ties with non productive activities, you will allow yourself more time to do beneficial activities that work towards your improvement,

Persistence – Stay with it…I know this is short but more words may confuse the message.

Enjoyment – Have fun and look for it everywhere.  You will make more friends than enemies with a smile, and we typically do this most while laughing.  Look to have fun as one of your daily goals, and find it at work, in the gym, in nature and every other place that you frequent.

Control – In all of this, you will need to be disciple enough to  maintain yourself at all times.  We all get mad at, and it is perfectly fine to do so as long as we maintain our cool and don’t allow situations to justify us being disrespectful.  No on likes to be disrespected, and if you can keep the mindset of focusing on the positive you will attract people and be well respected.

maybe you will, maybe you won’t…you decide

Time – The time is now, and it always will be.  When working to improve it will take time for your behaviors to change, and the only way to gain respect is to work at it.  Begin to great and treat people as you would want to be treated, and over time you will become everything that you have imagined for yourself which is the ultimate sign or respect.

United we stand, divided we fall.  Learn to respect others, by working to respect yourself first.

make the rest of your life the best of your life